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Elsewhere

6/21/2019

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Eyes drawn upwards
You would think I thought all the answers
Were written in the clouds,
In the craters of the moon,
In between the changing hues –
Orange, yellow into blue
Then black.
I’m just searching for you.
Distracted by the calm of the skies,
I’m reminded of what I
Saw in your eyes -
Serenity.
And when the sun dips
Beneath the horizon –
Serendipity.
Because I was never meant to have you,
I was never meant to find you
Again.
Look but don’t touch,
You gave me so much of a rush
That I thought it was love.
I still think it was love.
Imagine what life would have been like if you had
Thought it was love, too.
There’s nothing to regret,
Nothing I’d want to undo
Even all the time I spent crying over you.
Because
It taught me
That the sun is to the moon
As you are to me.
As careful and restrained is to
Wild and carefree.
It had to be done.
Like the moon has to rely on the sun,
I had to rely on life to give me something that would make me shine…
Even if it burned.
Even if it came from elsewhere.
Even if it meant you were elsewhere.
I had to learn how to lose
In order to learn how to grow.
Like clouds that beautifully billow
Against a blue sky,
I had to know
That a time would come
When I would break,
When all that I had taken
Such care to create
Would become too heavy
And, for me, unnecessary
To cling to.
But like clouds don’t need to keep the rain,
I didn’t need to keep you
Nor keep the pain.
Because
We never needed to remain,
We were needed elsewhere.
 
 

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    Jillian Lawrence

    South African. 20-something. Hopeless Over-Thinker.

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